Recently, I watch a TED video on the internet, the speaker is a psychologists Meg Jay.
She said a story about one of her client Alex , Alex was dating with a ass bad man at that time, Alex talked about guys with Meg Jay, she didn’t speak any special words to Alex, just give some basic comfortable words to Alex. But before long, Meg’s supervisor advise her push Alex about the love life, but Meg pushed back. Meg thought maybe Alex was dating with someone not very good, but it’s not like Alex was going to marry the guy. While Meg’s supervisor said Alex may not be marry with this guy, but might marry with the next one. Besides, the best time to work on Alex’s marriage is before she has one. Then call this as the “a ha ” moment. And that was the moment Meg realized 30 is not the new 20.
The 20s deserved to know what psychologists, sociologists, neurologists and fertility specialists. Already know: that claiming your 20s is one of the simplest, yet most transformative, things you can do for work , for love, for your happiness, maybe even for the world. And this is not Meg’s opinion. These are the facts.
80% of the life’s most defining moments take place by age 35. It means 8 out of 10 people decisions and experienced and “aha” moments that make your life what it is will happened by your mid-30s. The first ten years of a career had an exponential impact on how much you are going to earn.
You can’t change pick your family, but you can pick your friends.Forget about having an identity crisis and get some identity capital.By getting some identity capital mean do something that adds value to who you are. Identity capital begets identity capital. Meg said “I am not discounting twentysomething exploration at here, but I am discounting exploration that’s not supposed to count”, I like this phrase she said. Explore work and make it count. Urban tribe is overrated, best friends are great for giving rides to the airport, but twentysomethings who huddle together with like-minded peers limit who the know, what they know, how they know,how the think, how they speak, and where they work.
Half of new jobs are never posted, so reaching out your neighbor’s boss is how you get that un-posted job. It’s not cheating. It’s the science of how information spreads.
30 is not the new 20, so claim your adulthood, get some indentity capital, use your weak ties, pick your family. Don’t be defined by what you didn’t know or didn’t do. You’re deciding your life right now.
- How I dealt with the identity crisis of my twenties (theunstudent.com)
- Make the most of your 20s: Meg Jay at TED2013 (ted.com)